OK I know that’s a bold statement. Because there very few things we actually need in our lives. So what really is essential you ask? OK. Let’s say a genie popped out of your bottle Henri Jayer Cros Parantoux and asked, “Dude how can I make your life better?”
Suffice it to say you’d reply well, I need a woman with the body of Russian Olympic pole-vaulter Yelana Isinbaeva, a face like Dominique Sanda captured by Bernardo Bertolucci, with the sentient caring instincts of Mother Theresa, the capacity for witty cerebral fart joke discourse of Olivia Munn, the sexual voracity of Tori Black after learning that she was both ambidextrous and triple jointed, and the unfailing devoted loyalty of your golden retriever. And, it would be nice if she could cook and not spend all your money on shiny crap too.
But beyond that — what else do you actually need? Health. OK. Some kind of naturally aspirated vehicle with an excess of 450 horsepower. Definitely. Decent burgundy from a dope ass obscure climate like the undulating Petit Monts in Vosne Romanee or the afore mentioned Cros Parantoux, yep and probably triple -quilted toilet paper for a gentile denouement to your morning ablutions. And wait… two more seasons of Game of Thrones as incendiarily awesome as the one that just concluded. Valar Morghulis. But that’s about it right? Because, we men are simple.