Depending on your location, faith and attitude toward the year’s end festivities, and whether or not you’ve been naughty or nice, the seasonal break provides the perfect opportunity for you to show off the new watch you received from Santa. Or a devoted wife/husband/partner. If you didn’t receive a new watch, not even a jokey Chairman Mao watch or a Swatch Sistem51, then you clearly failed to communicate your preferences to your benefactors.

1

The Office Lackey, including mailroom staff, all interns, etc: A boldly-coloured Ice Watch or Toy Watch.

The Toy Watch Velvety Chrono Red

The Ice Watch Ice City Oakwood

If you’re that far down the food chain, it wouldn’t do to return to work wearing something better than the boss’ wristwatch. Even if you were given a new Royal Oak or Breguet Type XX, buy something plastic so as not to offend those above you on the corporate ladder.

2

The Boss: Anything from Frédérique Constant, Nomos, Hamilton, Longines or Oris.

The Nomos Glashütte Lux Weißgold — vintage minimalism with an in-house movement

The Oris Divers Sixty-Five

The obverse of No. 1, take a tip from those German employers who buy Mercedes-Benzes with no model numbers, so the staff can’t tell if it’s a base model or one that’s top-of-the-range. Leave your De Bethune at home and turn up with something that’s obviously a fine mechanical watch, but one that costs less than a new car.

3

The Secretary: a Cartier Crash Skeleton.

The Cartier Crash Skeleton with diamond-set white-gold case

Assuming that you are a distaff office worker with the unparalleled worth of Joan in Mad Men before they finally appreciated her and gave her the promotion she deserved, you should be earning enough to treat yourself to a Cartier, like the basic Tank. But if you have a boyfriend/husband who appreciates you enough to ensure a memorable Christmas, the Crash Skeleton is a must-have piece. A Patek Philippe Twenty~4 works, too.

4

The CEO: Vacheron Constantin ref. 57260.

The Vacheron Constantin ref. 57260

Yeah, we know there’s only one. But if you own it and you’re reading this, you really ought to celebrate the existence of the gift you gave yourself. No riots will ensue: Any staff of yours with brains will realise that they work for someone who is clever, successful and therefore to be admired. But considering that you certainly celebrated Chanukah rather than Christmas, it would be prudent not to turn up every day for eight days wearing a different watch each time.

5

The Kept Man or Kept Woman.

Don’t be silly — you don’t go to work, do you?

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