News
World’s Most Expensive Sausages to Be Sold in April Instead of March from 2020
News
World’s Most Expensive Sausages to Be Sold in April Instead of March from 2020
Like Khabib Nurmagomedov jumping out of the cage at UFC 229 after finishing Conor McGregor, there’s got to be some dawning sense that you may have made a tactical miscalculation here. And as a beleaguered Desi Arnaz chastising his wayward spouse Lucille Ball says: “You got some ’splainin to do.”
You’ve already made some noises about change — for one you’ve just announced a change in your dates as of 2020, when Baselworld will follow immediately after SIHH (SIHH, 26 to 29 April in Geneva; Baselworld, 30 April to 5 May in Basel); at least until 2024. I appreciate that you’ve obviously engaged with SIHH to orchestrate this and I, also, appreciate that both fairs are now going to require my teams from around the world to travel only once to Switzerland, and in the more favorable spring time. But I will point out the obvious fact that you’ve said nothing of how you are actually going to make changes to improve your actual fair. This “synchronization” that’s been announced is nothing new, it’s basically how both shows were done before 2009.
SIHH 2018 saw an extensive overhaul of the fair facilities, with heightened security, larger entrance ways and reception areas.
For members of the press, a great deal has been done to make reporting from on the ground a lot easier with better internet service and even a more decked out press room.
But the best bit may be the well lit booths created all across the fair floors, called “White Box” where you can do quick photography for social media, or use the space to film interviews.
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Then I would do five simple things which, if you actually commit to, will demonstrate that you are serious about making the change. First, I would set up the most powerful high-bandwidth Wi-Fi in the known universe and, as an act of contrition, I would give it away to everyone for free. Why? Because then journalists will be able to create maximum awareness for the ticking works of art offered up by the Swiss watch industry to millions of eyes instantly. Similarly, retailers could reach out to their end customers with these watches to stoke the fires of desire so necessary for this industry’s future. And please stop with this asinine and duplicitous practice of having terrible Wi-Fi and then charging brands a premium to set up their own systems. Everyone can see that this is just a scam, and not even a particularly imaginative one at that. I’m sure you can do some deal with Swisscom where they have a pop-up ad and will essentially give you the most damnably powerful Wi-Fi imaginable for free in return for letting them sell SIM cards outside the hall (which would be genuinely useful).
Finally, it dawns on me that your 100th anniversary has come and gone, and you did nothing about it. No celebration, no thank you and nothing given back to the community that has supported you for more than a century of your existence. So, at Baselworld 2019, I suggest that you hold three successive days of after-parties. For two hours after the fair closes each day, give away free beer so the watch community can see that you recognize its effort to ensure your future.
And you know the sausages? The world’s most expensive ones that you sell outside the fair? Hell, in an act of ultimate largesse why not just give them away? It may be just a couple of beers and a complimentary tube of processed meat, but it would be a great first gesture to demonstrate that you actually care about us and appreciate us coming from all around the world every year to support you at considerable personal expense. Something that we will continue to do. For now.